Naked Gumdrops

So, Bill and I went to the office today to do more computer work, and we stopped at a gas station for drinks.  Root beer for Bill, and a couple of Peach Faygos for me.

Ah, Peach Faygo!  So cheap, yet so yummy!!

Shut up.

Anyhoo, I was passing through the candy aisle, and I saw a box of Dots that was begging to be adopted.  You heard me right.  Adopted.

See, Dots are the kind of candy that can't be bought.  There is so much love that goes into a box of Dots (almost as much love I give in eating them), that it can't be just a simple purchase.  Once I saw a half eaten box of Dots being thrown away at the movie theatre, and I had "Angel" by Sarah Mclachlan stuck in my head for hours.  Just seeing that made me *that* sad and depressed.

For those who have never heard of Dots, they are basically large gumdrops, but without all of that abrasive, super sweet sugar coating the outside limiting your intake of candy.

Anyway, I bought bought the candy and the drinks, and I got back to the truck, where I put the Dots into my laptop bag.

Once I got to the office, I became so engrossed in my work that my brain decided to save the Dots for later.  I was completely oblivious to this, since I was trying to get a computer to install IE7 when the website *insisted* that IE8 was much easier.  Arguing with a Microsoft website is enough to make Kirstie Alley forget to eat candy.  All of you geeks out there know what I'm talking about.

So, Dots forgotten, I finished my work for the evening, then headed to Taco Bell. 

You know, when it comes to food service, I'm all about priorities.  For instance, I can overlook a piercing or two if the food is good and the pierced employee is competent and at least cordial. 

In this case, the manager was talking down to the cashier taking my order because she had a cell phone in her pocket.  I understand that cell phones and smartphones are a distraction in the workplace, but as a customer, it was easy to overlook.  The cashier was polite and was later sincerely apologetic when there was a mixup with my order (for the record, it had nothing to do with the cell phone.)

What surprised me was that the conversation between the manager and the cashier was going on while there were 5 flies casually watching the exchange from a nearby wall. 

I've worked in food service, and one thing is certain.  In the summer months, flies are a reality, and must be continually dealt with.  Even the best maintenace, however can't prevent a fly or two from getting into the building from the outside, especially when the building has a drive through window.

But it was apparent that the manager was more concerned with the polite cashier with a cell phone rather than the infestation of flies who looked as if they were plotting an attack.

Since the flies I could *see* weren't near the kitchen, I didn't ask for a refund and go elsewhere (because let's face it, I wouldn't eat anywhere if I thought about the things I *didn't* see).

The food was alright, for Taco Bell at least, and I came to this computer to do some surfing before bed.

That was when my brain snapped its fingers and said, "Holy moley!  Don't you have candy in your laptop bag?"

That's when I snapped my fingers and said, "Hey!  I gots Dots!"

And so here I am.  Full of Taco Bell and Naked Gumdrops.  I ate the entire box.  And so, every story should have a moral, and this is it.

Never do that.  Never eat Taco Bell, the follow it with a theatre size box of candy.  Any candy.  In my case, it was Dots.  And now bad things are happening inside me.  I have a feeling bad things are *going* to happen to me.

I may just shit a rainbow.  As if I weren't gay enough.

 

Posted via email from Random and Absurd: The American Way